As I am writing this post, many emotions surface. I journaled daily in the first year of my grief not just as a release but I wanted to document as many of the signs and messages from ADam that I could that I was receiving. I had a fear this inner fear that his signs would fade and lessen...That darn belief system of mine was teetering me back and forth from believing to doubting. I was very vulnerable in that first several months. I soon realized I had to rebuild my life by listening to my heart not my fears. Little did I know in the beginning that Adam and I were in it for the long haul. This was to be my new norm of building a new kind of relationship with my son.
I always believed in heaven and the afterlife but my old beliefs were very limiting having me believe that I should just accept death, move on and don't ask questions. Even though I was a big fan of Theresa Caputo, James Van Praagh, and Sylvia Browne I was not being emotionally led to seek out answers that is until Adam passed. Even though I was in this deep void of emotional and physical pain I could feel the pull to seek out a medium, a spirit translator to get answers and validations. This was ADam leading my heart and placing the right people in my path to help me. I found myself at a metaphysical fair 6 weeks after his passing choosing two mediums to have a session with. The first medium rocked my world! He started stating who had greeted ADam and who he was with before I could even ask a question! He validated that he was with my father, my mother and my in-laws. More and more validations came through including one of ADam saying, "Don't sell the motorcycle, don't sell the motorcycle", which proved to us he was still my ADam! I felt a sense of relief over my body and for the first time in 6 weeks I was able to breathe without tearing up.. I then sat with the second medium I had scheduled as a session with named Deborah. What it day it was! She validated how ADam had died regarding the accident and we were given other validations through memories. Her mentioning his boots as well in future sessions with her was a huge feeling of comfort. What we had experienced was God's healing. We had walked into the building two hours earlier and walked out "knowing" that ADam was more than fine, that my parents and in-laws were were fine and that we were going to be fine.
The following day the whole motorcycle statement unfolded. We had invited two of Adam's "best" friends over to visit. Within minutes of them arriving one of my husband's friends came to door asking to buy the motorcycle for his young son. Needless to say, we did not sell the motorcycle that day!
(I still keep in touch with Deborah who now lives in Colorado.)