I was in so much emotional and physical pain after ADam's death that I sought out different doctors within weeks who each gave me a different diagnosis with different treatment plans and none were effective. I had always considered myself athletic, healthy and in tune with my body. For decades my career was centered in the health and fitness field. For many years I had own and operated a gym as well as several years were dedicated to working with young athletes so this began my search for holistic alternative healing methods for grief. This was a much more of suitable match for me rather than the conventional pharmaceutical route. After google searchs, I came across the healing method of Reiki. I had never heard this word before. Reiki is an ancient Japanese healing technique for reducing emotional stress and in turn reduces the physical symptoms. I was divinely lead to a local practitioner to have a few treatments. I was so fascinated with her and this approach. I was so open to this idea and concept for Adam had already proved to me that nothing was impossible at this point in my life. This woman was also very intuitive and gave me incredible short messages from ADam. I felt like I had been living in a cave my whole life by not being aware of alternative treatments! After telling my family about the treatments, my sister discovered that Reiki classes were offered at the local community college so we quickly signed up for the fall semester. I was so excited to learn more about this healing method and how our mind, body and spirit work together to create harmony. This was not something I had been exposed to before Adam's passing but during a session with a medium when I asked that ADam to share with me some heavenly insight and he said that we could each heal ourselves. Those words pushed me to learn more about alternative and complimentary treatments so I COULD heal myself. I finally understood how mental trauma from the grief created blockages in my body, in my energy field, and I needed to heal those hurts to help release the physical pain from the emotions I was carrying. The Reiki class was a turning point for me, learning more about our energetic bodies and how we each have the power within us to heal and that the universal life force energy is flowing through us 24/7. Within a year I completed my master certifications in Usui Reiki and Karuna Reiki and the pains I was having lessened. They had started in my lower back and hip and had then released and moved downward into my right knee. Reiki helped me to learn more about myself, about forgiveness, how to be the best person that I could be and in turn help others through Reiki and other alternative therapies. This healing modality cracked me open spiritually by healing and opening my heart more and more and I began feeling, sensing, hearing and seeing ADam. I could feel in my heart that this was right, that I had been so led to this point. That this was part of my soul agreement to help others but first I had to dig deep and work through my own hurts and forgive myself and in turn forgive others. Others who have not only hurt me but also who had hurt ADam. This was a huge step in me moving forward that I mentally and physically needed and I thank heaven for Dr. Usui and for placing my Reiki instructor, Ms. Gerrie, in my path to give me the tools to do just that.