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Papertrail Of Signs & Synchronicites

Looking back at what I will refer to as ground zero, that first week of grief and destruction in our family, I can now find the love and humor that ADam was surrounding us with. All the signs to let us know that he was most definitely right there with us from the moment we were notified. Some of those moments coming to mind besides me finishing Theresa Caputo's book the same night of the accident, are of the bullets that were in my husband's carry on that were not detected by by security at the airport. When we received the knock on the door the morning of Jan. 10, 2014, my husband walked into the house and kicked the coffee table. The only thing that flew off the table was Theresa's book. It landed upright with Theresa on the cover smiling right at me and my daughter. I piked it up and slung it across the room. I knew, I knew. We caught a flight to Colorado within hours of being notified so we as a family could bring his body home. Larry didn't think twice about using his suitcase that he had recently used on a hunting trip and had no recollection that he had left some bullets in it. They were "somehow" not detected during the screenings flying to Colorado but they definitely were detected traveling back to Houston and it gave us a chuckle and tears at the same time.

The hotel that ADam's company arranged for us to stay at was the same hotel in Colorado Springs that my daughter and I had stayed at a few years prior to for an ice skating competition. There are dozens of hotels in that area so what were the odds of that happening. No odds played out, it was all divine. When we walked in, I remembered the layout of the hotel, the free cookies at check-in, and the Target store and Chili's restaurant across the street. It was very surreal and bizarre at the same time.

Even choosing the funeral home in Colorado Springs was divinely orchestrated. I had spent the morning arranging where ADams' body would be taken to from the coroner's office and as I was being led from one funeral home to another. It all started lining up. I called a family owned and operated facility called The Springs and the young owner's name was Shelby. We live in the suburb of Houston called Spring and Amy's childhood friend who transitioned several years ago is named Shelby. I felt the connection going on and I knew to follow the signs. These may not seem relevant to you but for me I began seeing the paper trail and how I was being led from one step to the next.

Choosing a casket for our son was one of the most daunting and unimaginable tasks and as we gathered together to choose one, it was evident within seconds which casket it was going to be and without hesitation we all pointed to the same one. A beautifully handcrafted rustic Amish casket with a wood burned engraving of a countryside scene inside the lid. It was absolutely the neatest casket I have ever seen and it was a one of a kind handcrafted one. ADam is truly the one who nudged us to it. Even the funeral home back in Houston commented that they had never seen a casket design of its kind. (I was raised in southern Michigan in a rural farming area with many Amish families on the outskirts. ADam spent many vacations there as a child.) We traveled back to Houston with his body out of Denver. I vowed I never would return to the state of Colorado for I had so much anger towards everyone and everything including the state. I have worked through that anger and am able to release those hurts and am willing to create new happier memories in Colorado. I know by creating space for new memories, it will be cathartic.

Everything lined up perfectly with the church and with the Celebration Of Life Service that was full of love and humor by his friends. Our daughter Amy was our rock, our anchor who helped put together a beautiful memorable service. And I know ADam was helping her along and kept her strong. Amy started out by sharing her Christmas Eve experience with ADam from just a couple weeks earlier. How her brother took her out to celebrate her 21st birthday in style. And how she imitated Theresa Caputo when she ordered a Long Island Ice Tea. The night was short lived for Amy became sick. Apparently Long Island Ice Tea's are loaded! I did not know the details of her and ADam's night out until she told everyone at the service. Maybe I will share more of that night soon. Amy can express it much better than I can.

Even picking out the cemetery plot was divinely orchestrated. I had already determined which cemetery for I chose the one where Amy's friend Shelby and a few of my friends and ADam's friends were laid to rest at. I narrowed the decision down on which plot based on a headstone by it that had a Houston Texans flag on it. It was not until we had the burial service a few days later that my daughter noticed the ADam humor in our decision. As we were walking together for the burial service, Amy spotted in the row of headstones in front of ADam's plot the Fakes family headstone and the Boring family headstone! I cannot go to the cemetery to this day without acknowledging these two families and chuckling. I also realized later that a beautiful friend of mine who is buried there is on the same row as ADam. Even the funeral route procession that the hearse drove from the funeral home to the cemetery routed us directly by ADam's home. None of us knew the procession from the funeral home to the cemetery we would take us directly by his house. Another very surreal moment.

What a beautiful gift that was for us in those first few days, all to let us know that not only Jesus took the wheel but ADam had on hand on it too.These are just some of our experiences we witnessed in those first days. I am so grateful for this papertrail of signs and synchronicities for it led me right to ADam.

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